Passed smooth out

So, I walk into my kitchen and I see this:

And I think, she looks just like the frog I had to dissect in high school biology.

So we took a few more shots:


See that spot next to one of her eyes. She must've gotten into a fight while we were at work. Nathan thinks she did something to piss Houla off, but I think a hawk tried to swoop down and make my puppy a tasty lunch and narrowly missed because Houla stepped in to save her.

Ode to a "cracker"

I use the word "cracker" a lot.
It's something I started doing a while back. It seemed to make people laugh, so I kept doing it.
At this point, I use it like a term of endearment:
"Hey, what's up cracker. How's your day going?"
I say it to Nathan:
"Can you please help me with the dishes, cracker husband o'mine?"
He calls me cracker, too.

But I notice some people get a little huffy when I call them that. But really, I don't mean any harm, and there's no malice behind it. But I think I'll endeavor to stop saying it. (I may have to go to crackers anonymous: "Hi, my name's Melissa and I say cracker." "Hi, Melissa.") It seems when I say it outside of my house, it only gets me in to trouble.
So, I'm a reformed cracker user. In public anyways.

Puppy video

The other side

This is what she looks like when you turn her over...
ACK! IT'S PUPPY CUJO!
Run for your lives!

Puppy love

Here's our new puppy. She's adorable. Since we got her on Friday the 13th, I'm naming her Clover. (but I should name her something like Moxie cuz she's a spirited little thing.)
Cute things she's done so far:
Sleep
Run
Pounce on Houla
Hide sticks under the grill for later
Bark at the lawn chair outside...
Then chew on it. (the chewing is cute right now because she can't really hurt anything)

She's also really smart.
We put her on the digital scale and turns out, she weighs nothing! That'll change really soon I'm sure... I think she's already bigger since Friday night.
I'll post some cute video as soon as I can.

Shotgun security system

The other night I let the dogs out before we started a movie so that (hopefully) they wouldn't bother us about their bladders in the middle of it.
Well, they start barking at absolutely nothing, as per usual, and I open the door to call them in and see a sheriff coming down the road.
Very slowly.
With a spotlight. He shines it in my yard and the dogs of course run over to the gate and start viciously barking at the sheriff. (don't you just love how dogs don't discriminate?)
His spotlight shines on them, scans across the yard and then lands on me standing in the doorway.
He pulls in to a driveway two houses down and sits there a minute. Then when the coast is clear on the road, he turns around and starts coming back. Well, if he wanted to turn into my driveway, he went too far and so he stopped a sec and then kept on driving. I don't think he came back.
So, now I'm thinking, "What in the hell are the cops doing out with a searchlight? There must be a fugitive in my backyard!"
Nathan is already in the storage room searching for the shotgun shells to load up the gun that's under the bed (hey, we're just like any normal american home, people...).
Well, he loads up the gun and puts it on my side of the bed. Oh no, cowboy. You're gonna have to do the shootin. Then I notice the extra shell sitting next to me on the bedside table.
"What's that for?"
"In case more than two come through the door."
"What!? Well Houla can take one of them..."
I'm not going to be responsible for handing my husband a shell in the middle of the night if someone is trying to kill us. I'm just not. That will only end in tears. And plenty of blood. I don't know whose, but I don't think I'll like the mess.

Sweet censorship

Since my iPod took a fatal dive into a glass of green tea, I've been listening to the radio a lot more. (I keep forgetting to bring my CDs into the car.) But there's this one song by Christina Aguilera called "Candy Man" and it's interesting to see how it is censored.
For example, one station censored her saying "He's a one stop shop, he makes my panties drop." They bleeped the word panties. Then she says "He's a one stop shop, he makes my cherry pop." And they bleeped out "cherry pop" which I'm sure was just a harmless reference to a soda in a candy store....
But when she says, "when he hits my mouth he really hits the spot" well, I guess that part is okay, because it's not bleeped. And that part offended me the most.
Maybe I should call and complain. :)
But what killed me is that Pink apparently has a song called "You and Your Hand" where she says, "It's just you and your hand tonight." And there was some little girl who sounded like she was about 12 years old calling the radio station to request it. By name.
That offended me, too. I think that song should be bleeped.